|Love Beyond Dependency
Transformation for the Second Chakra - the Svadhishthāna
Level One – Opening to Intimacy
Love is a major life lesson for everyone. Love is such a nourishment, because it is a basic human need to feel loved, yet love can also bring
much suffering. Inside each of us there is a thirst for pure love, unconditional love, but more often the love we find in our lives is mixed with
dependency, domination, jealousy, possessiveness and fear. Our longing for love takes us into relationship with another person, but
relationship means to encounter the personality and the unconscious behavior of another person and that brings up our own unconsciousness.
When we approach life as an opportunity for spiritual growth, we can also bring the light of awareness to help transform our normal
unconscious love into conscious unconditional love. In order to do that we can use the understanding of the chakra system, it is the second
chakra where we find ourselves in the love-hate polarity. Whether it is in our marriage, with a lover, or with our parents and family, it is the
energy that is stored in the second chakra that influences the way we feel and act in our relationships.
In Part One we our opening our ability to feel. Due to emotional difficulties in our past relationships we learn to cover our feelings, or to cut
off from them. The emotions we feel in love and relationship make us feel vulnerable, fragile and we become afraid to get hurt. To protect
ourselves we develop shields of defense. But that blocks us from our natural ability to feel emotions, which in turns limits our ability to love.
If we want love in our lives and if we want loving relationships, we need to relearn the natural ability to feel feelings.
During this group we will be exploring our feelings especially when in closeness to other people, we will also explore our defenses and learn to
start relating in more conscious ways. That we will us the right foundation to tend move onto Part Two “Conscious Relating.”
“Everybody wants intimacy because otherwise you are alone in this universe -- without a friend, without a lover, without anybody you can trust,
without anybody to whom you can open all your wounds.
And the wounds cannot heal unless they are open.
The more you hide them, the more dangerous they become. They can become cancerous.
Intimacy is an essential need on the one hand, so everybody longs for it. But he wants the other person to be intimate, so that the other person drops
his defenses, becomes vulnerable, opens all his wounds, drops all his masks and false personality, stands naked as he is. And on the other hand,
everybody is afraid of intimacy -- with the other person you want to be intimate with, you are not dropping your defenses.
This is one of the conflicts between friends, between lovers: nobody wants to drop his defenses and nobody wants to come in utter nudity and
sincerity, open -- and both need intimacy.”
Osho - The Hidden Splendor
|Transformation for the Second Chakra – Love Beyond Dependency
Level Two – Conscious Relating
Love and relationship is a major part of life. How to share life with another person in a fulfilling way for both people can be described as an
art or as a challenge. However it is greatly helpful to gain an understanding of certain laws of how relationships function. It is commonly
thought that we need only to fall in love with ‘the right person’ and all else will happen naturally. It may sound strange, but there really are
laws of love. But they are natural laws, which once we learn them can guide us into having a more conscious relating, as if we have learned
great secrets about love.
This seminar is based on “Ten Secrets of Conscious Relating” which will be taught in detail, with exercises for practicing them.
These laws of relationships apply to all our important relationships, although we will focus on love and marriage relationships,
these new ways of conscious relating also can be applied to other relationships with our family and friends.
Relationship problems are common because we:
Take the other person for granted
Expect too much from the other
Blame the other
Compromise in order to make superficial harmony
Do not know to communicate in a way the other can understand
Have lost trust
All these problems come from focusing too much on the other person, in the early stages of relationship that external focus feels good and
positive. But in later stages of relationship that focus becomes bitter. If the problem is excessive external focus, it does not mean egoism is
the solution. But that conscious relating is the connection between two independent people, who both know themselves, and find that a loving
relationship is a supportive way to live life. Then the other person is not a distraction or a disturbance,
but a life partner with whom we can grow together.
Conscious Relating offers new ways such as:
Respecting each other
Perceiving the other as a mirror
Finding a true harmony
Honest, open and clear communication
Trusting the energy of love
Lovers as conscious people become mirrors to each other. One of the greatest benefits of a deep relationship is that both people know each
other intimately and entirely in both positive and negative aspects, and if we can accept each others faults and understand each other,
then our relationship partner becomes our best friend and best support.
To understand relationship we need to understand our own relationship pattern. During the seminar, we will be examining how we formed
relationship, dependency and attachment patterns as part of our childhood conditioning. Psychological theories about relationship patterns
will help our understanding. We will also be practicing meditations to encourage our conscious to grow.
Everyone is welcome to join this workshop, whether currently in a relationship or single. Couples are welcome to join this workshop together,
if both partners are willing, it will provide the opportunity to renew their relationship.
Love needs the greatest awareness. Unconscious, asleep, snoring, you cannot love. Your love is more like hate than like love that's why your love can
go sour in a single minute. Your love becomes jealousy any moment. Your love can become hatred any moment. Your love is not love enough. Your
love is more like a hiding place, not an open sky. It is more a need, not like an independent flow. More like dependence -- and all dependencies are
ugly. Real love makes you free, gives you total freedom. It is unconditional. It asks for nothing. It simply gives and shares, and it is happy because the
sharing was possible. It is thankful because you accepted.
Osho - Yoga: The Alpha and the Omega, Vol. 7 #8